Still here. I exist! I also thrive.

I pruned off my friends list, from those who died ( :< ), to old groups I was no longer a part of, to people I have no idea who they are, or people I've moved on from due to disagreements, etc.

Life is good! :)

I am:

-Still working at my job and working really hard (though one boss constantly wears my morale down and treats me crappily, which I'm working on finding a way around- life has its challenges)
-Living in NH :D :D :D :D :D Succeeded at that last September; visited the complex in late July, and
-Living with my fiance, ~pantherdragon
-A High Priest of the River Shadow Tradition of the eclectic branch of Wicca, and
-Teaching students
-MUCH healthier than I've ever been in my life (just need more sleep... x_X ), only having gotten sick about 5 times, 2 of which were massive stress-induced gut reactions from old PTSD flareups and 3 of which were food poisoning -_- I've had a cold only twice or so, but by and large they had nowhere near the duration they used to while living in my first home (in MA w/ my folks; an average cold lasted up to 3 months for me, at worst, 6)
-a lot mentally healthier- very little negative conditioning left in my head from past people in my life and abusive BS going on in the background of my brainspace
-I have scaled Mount Monadnock on Dec. 5th (~pantherdragon's 25th birthday) during a blizzard and we not only got to THE summit 3,600 feet up in the air and over an 8 mile trek, but got down and off of it and were safe and healthy the entire time.. got some amazing photos. :)
-Discovered that gender is optional and I've transcended it
-Discovered, FINALLY, for the first time in my soul's existence, the value of family and familial reciprocation and, to an extent, family honor (such as my vows not to drink/smoke/drug up/etc to help heal the family which was torn up by those)
-Discovered the root of vulnerability and done immense healing work
-Worked with taxidermy, discovered a very 'grey' area I'd never given much thought to before, explored ethic and moral even more deeply, and worked with my patron deity to the point I can clearly hear Him far better than I ever could, as well as understand who he is more, learned I have a passion for taxidermy work but personally can't keep doing it nor do it as a career
-Read about 35 pagan/Wiccan/witchcraft books since I moved in, perhaps more
-Continually maintained moving out and never being late on a rent or utility payment (though I do owe my folks a bit of cash from a tight spot I hit in early January, which was to be expected)
-Have been continuing selling my art, though I haven't actually been doing much of it since I've been so tired from working
-Been playing with Ratty (my silver agouti rat w/ white paws, tail tip & belly), who will be 2 years old as of this coming April. :) He's a sweetheart, I love 'im sooo much...
-Been going batshit trying to make -more- money, but that's to be expected since the majority of us in the US seem to be doing that these days
-Am getting LOTS of awesome.. *cough* Nevermind. >_<~<3

So... healthiness, multitasking, working my tails off, growing as a High Priest and servant/messenger to/for Divinity, teaching Wicca 101 to my students in the tradition, some art on the side, and doing a ton of internal work.

What sucks right now is there's two very big areas of my life I need to improve - self-love and self-confidence. It seems like every time I try to become self-confident in what I do, something or someone rips it down and brings it back to nothing. I'm confident in my job capabilities, for example, at work, and this one manager who told me I'm just not efficient enough (and whom other people at work dislike intensely for his constant belittling and criticism) was the most recent one to tear it down. The lesson I need to learn is to become self-confident regardless of who can say otherwise, and my Wicca teacher of 3 years who later ordained me, Lotus - she taught me to become self-empowered too. Thing is, I'm pretty sure that self-love comes before self-confidence, and needing to work on both when I'm entirely clueless on how to start is a terrifying task. I've at least come to understand exactly how and why fear occurs within me, and since that's been almost fully slain in different areas of my life, I've become a much better person. :}

But there's always something to learn in life, so I figure hey, I'm doing pretty damn good. Got health, a roof over my head, people who love me and live with me (even if one roommate forgets to flush the toilet or clean after herself once in a while >.9" ), and my pet ratty, my art and spirituality, and makin' money at my job, it's all good.

YAY~ :3

So yeah, that's pretty much what's up. ^^*

Hey all! I'm selling my stash of oil paints. They're sitting around doing nothing and I needs me some gas money!

Oil Paints - High-Quality
( Picture under the cut! )

Thank you *so* much!

I'm seriously considering starting a pagan bookshop. There's nowhere really to go for goods in the Boston area since Unicorn closed, unless you trek from Boston up to New Hampshire or Salem MA. There's networking in the In the Lap of the Goddess Productions group in Somerville, but there's no covenstead- no place to hang out and lounge or replenish your supply of candles or whatnot- people have to look around in other stores for those now. At least for me, it's a pain in the ass... and I genuinely miss having a pagan shop easily accessible to me. I only have one relatively nearby- up in Rockport, MA- and it's tiny and slightly overpriced. Salem is closer by, except it's still at least an hour from me, two roundtrip. Kinda silly when all you want is candles, a feel-good place to relax for maybe a half hour or more, or just meet others of a like interest.

I wanted to take over Unicorn when it was closing last Lammas, but I couldn't since I was in school for graphic design at the time and I didn't know anything about business.

Particularly if anyone reading this knows business or has ways to contribute to help me along, that'd be great. Even greater if you're reading this and you're in the Boston area and feel similarly called. :)

I genuinely want to do this. It's something that will put a lot of personal meaning into my life- not just eat, sleep, work at a chain store and save money to live in an apartment with my mate, but to really be happy with living in a way that will infuse my life with what I care most about- finding creative expression in spirituality, and making a network for others in the area to help their own spiritual lives flourish.

-------------------------------

Stuff I could make to sell:

Bath salts,
Dreamcatchers,
PMC-made jewelry,
Incense blends (hard to buy online when you can't smell it)
Custom-made altar clothes
Custom-made wands
Handmade pouches
Handmade runestone sets
Paintings & Prints

Stuff I could find and sell:

Resins,
Japanese/Indian incenses,
Smudge sticks,
Incense vessels,
Herbal ingredients,
Books (duh),
Ritual Tools (chalices, pendulums, besoms, etc)
Statuary,
Tarot decks,
Music CDs of meditative music,
Gemstones,
Clothing items,
Jewelry,
Essential oils & aromatherapy (maybe get info/help from Carolyn with these since she's got her own lines)
and more.

Services:
*Local networking- monthly circles for Esbats/moon work, Sabbats, classes, hangouts, tarot readings, rune readings, reiki healings, chakra healings, etc.

Ahem.

I HAVE A CAR HOLY HENTAI GODS!!!

30,000 miles, 2004 Hyundai Elantra, $11.5 grand, haggled it down to 9.5 grand since there was an exact duplicate a year younger (2003) right next to it, wiped the price down to about 9 grand even *more* because I had a $250 coupon to use that I printed off the web. =D

I took that thing for a test drive and it responded to the *slightest* pressure on both brake and gas pedals :D And it's freakin' awesome!! 2 liter, V4 cylinder, 30,000 miles on it, hardly 3 years old, everything's powered- no hand-rotated windows, 35 MPG (YAY!), front-wheel drive, automatic (I wanted a Mitsubishi Eclipse in the worst way but Dad banned me from getting a stick, which I dunno how to drive XD...) , CD Player, AC, etc. The guy, Norm, was -awesome- he showed me every little bit of the car and even told me when he'd go inside so I could have some time to think about the car, esp. since me and Dad originally said we'd be just looking.

We wound up putting a downpayment on it because we liked it so much and didn't want someone else to buy it. O.O Someone actually did intend to come back and buy it, except they "flaked on the finance part" so I wound up getting it.

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! O.O And in the back of mind the whole time, was, "Holy shit, this is so unreal. HOLYSHITHOLYSHIT WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!" and "OMG. THANK YOU, Sacred Mother and Father for helping me get this car"- the latter of which because for the last month I've been doing nightly devotionals and including that I intend to keep my job and that I'd like to cut down on the stress of asking Mom for hers and causing her undue stress because she needs hers and can't do things when I'm out with the car all day. X3 And the whole time, the full moon shone down on me while I was looking at the car, testing it and doing the paperwork for it. So I definitely felt like some sort of magick was being worked, that Dad and Mom were talking in agreement and getting this all to work out. Now I have freedom, and don't have to get in Mom's hair about when I can or can't work, and woooow.... It's freakin' amazing.

Here's my car :D ... not mine, but the same color/model/etc:

RIP, ~mixedborders / Skyler. We met at a point in life where we could share stories and help each other transition through hard times, but lost contact and I had no idea you were getting sick, much less getting the email in my inbox today saying you were dead and that the email was from a friend of yours. I'd always wanted to go over to your place for a game night and to catch up with you, but now I can't.

Sorry that I never got to say goodbye. :{ Love you, and best wishings for your next life.